Tag Archives: relationships

Nothing Is Forever

I was listening to this song this morning, and couldn’t help but relate to some of the lyrics.  Never mind the fact that this particular song in one of my all time favorites. It has a good sway but when you listen to the lyrics, it’s so much more than just “a song”.

This morning the words, “nothing is forever” struck a chord with me.  I’m going to start today and hopefully the rest of my days with this mind set and mentality.  I might even scratch off a bucket list item by inking those words into my skin.  If you think long and hard about it, you can almost say these three words about probably everything in life.  Think about it:

-Your health, being pain free or the opposite

-Your marriage, for better or worse

-The status of your job, today…

-Your small or large bank account

-Your friends and relationships

-Our country and its leaders

I could get into intricacies, but I think you get the drift.  Pretty much everything in your life will come and it will go.  We aren’t made to last forever.  To live forever.   For instance my hands are super swollen today, and really for no reason other than this mother effing menopause bullshit.  It’s irritating but later on today/tonight or tomorrow I’ll bet they won’t be.  It’ll most definitely be something else, but what I’m feeling now is not forever.

We all think that when we say those two life changing words, “I do”, that we “will” for our entire lives.  That may be true, but there’s a chance that it will change, even if just the dynamic of that marriage.

I joke but seriously believe that these days NO JOB is secure.  As much as we try to do good work, our career status may not be up to us.  We’ve got to just go through our day and do our best and be hopeful.

If you read the lyrics to this song, it’s appears to be about a girl who took her own life, and the struggles of the deeply saddened friend she left behind.  Don’t we all get caught up in the daily stresses of life and instead of allowing ourselves to live in the moment, good or bad, we worry and struggle and lose sleep and our good health just believing that it’ll never get any better? Or it will never be different?   I’m unhappy with my size right now, but good or bad, tomorrow is another day and I could feel thinner or fatter.  Maybe I’ll have a good hair day.  Maybe Donald Trump will stop tweeting. There is a sort of power in positive thinking.  I’m not going to tell anyone that what they’re thinking or feeling is wrong, Lord knows I’ve been in some pretty bad places mentally.  But if you can just remind yourself that nothing is forever.  Say it out loud everyday in your car if you have to.  For good or bad, nothing is forever.

 

 

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The Unlikeliest Friends

Being young has its advantages and disadvantages.  I think one of the biggest issues being young is taking certain things for granted.  We are all guilty of that for sure, but one of the biggest detriments to maturity is friendship.  It may just because we’re growing up and figuring things out.  We accumulate relationships with like-minded people.  Temporary and long standing Friendships.  Many times it’s not effortless.  We may even start out not really caring for another person, but growing to really like them over time.  For me, this is the BEST kind of friendship.  Maybe for some reason or another, you both were completely fine on your own and didn’t want or need another friend.  Maybe you didn’t necessarily care for the other person, first impressions and all, but over time you realized that person was kind of cool.  You may have been thrown together out of no fault of your own and eventually realized that you couldn’t live without one another.

This would be the case with my dogs, Jaxon and Harles, aka Harley, Carl, Bubble.  The poor dog will almost answer to anything.

Jaxon came first and like most “only children”, he received all of our attention.  His brother from another mother came a few years later.  Now Bubble can be a beast, very alpha and domineering.  Jax is the opposite, which I’ve written about in a previous post.  Bubble came into the family feeling the need to prove he was King.  Jax was not happy stepping down from his throne and so the relationship went, until recently.  They’ve both had a surgery in the past 2 years and I’m not sure if that’s what brought them together, or if it’s just a mutual fond regard, but I truly believe that they are now inseparable.

They both sleep in bed with me, and Bubble tends to sleep a lil longer than Jax.  In the morning I go to the kitchen and make my coffee, Jax by my side.  Bubble continues to snooze in bed.  I’ve actually seen Jax go into my bedroom and pretty much make noises in order to wake up Bubble.  In the same respect, I’ll be napping in bed with Jax, and he’ll leave the room only to return with Bubble.  A year or so ago that wouldn’t have happened.  I can remember Jaxon letting Harles stay outside all day once, when I forgot to bring him in before leaving for work.  Now you might ask how Jaxon “let” Bubble stay outside.  Jax is like Houdini in many respects, and is actually able to slide open my patio door.  He’ll never do it while I watch, but he’s done it many times when I’m visiting my neighbor, and I find him waiting for me at the gate when I return home.

https://ucs.psu.edu/service/home/~/?auth=co&loc=en_US&id=79508&part=2

I may not know the real reason why these two unlikely friends have become so close, but I’m so happy that they’ve finally accepted each other and have more than what seems to be a casual, convenient friendship.

Always one of my favorites….

 

 


The Game of Love

love

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time

~Chinese Proverb~

Are you a participant in the “Game of Love”?

Every day  I find myself questioning love.  Love of myself, my spouse, my life.  I’m constantly reminded, via emails from a variety of life coaches, that I first must love myself, before I can truly love another.  I don’t find that to be true.  I think that early on in my marriage, I truly loved my spouse.  I believe with all my heart that I sincerely love my children, without any doubt in my mind.   So maybe I’m interpreting the statement incorrectly.  It may just mean that in order to love your “significant other”, you must first love yourself.  In believing that you love yourself, you would not question certain things they said or did.  “Why is he spending so much time away from me”?  “Why didn’t she take care of me when I had a cold”?  And then the ultimate question….”does he or she really love me”?

Do we turn the argument around on ourselves and ask “why aren’t we lovable enough”?  You might ask that question if you didn’t first “love yourself”.

Love is a silly game.  Your love game might be different from mine.  I’m not competitive, so I don’t believe I always have to win.  I don’t always have to be right.  Having said that, I would like to win sometimes.  Playing a game that you never win makes you really want to stop playing, doesn’t it?

Maybe your love game is one-sided.  You’ve got one player that constantly tries, while the other just sits back and doesn’t put much effort into actually “playing” the game.  Could one player actually love the other “more”?

Both of the love game players might be resentful.  One gets ahead, the other falls behind, constantly playing catch up while the whole “game” morphs into  jealousy.  “I’m jealous your life is better than mine”.  “Life is so much easier for you”.

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, lovers everywhere are contemplating their “love game”.  Some may be dreading the touted “hallmark holiday”, while others look at the day as being a way to “step up their game”.

When it comes to the game of love, how will yours play out?