Monthly Archives: September 2014

It’s Not Personal, it’s Business


I decided not to be in the running for the position that I was contemplating.  For a few reasons, but mostly because I didn’t feel that I was a good fit for the company.

Getting older has it’s perks.  One being that I really get to know who I am.  I now know that there are just certain things that I like and don’t like.  For instance, I love the ability to listen to music at work and joke around with people and dress the way I want.  I like doing that a lot.  I guess you could call it a kind of freedom.  Freedom that I don’t wanna give up.   It’s a fun atmosphere.  I’ve gotten used to it and I don’t want that to change.

The job I had interviewed for was going to deny me music, witty banter and stylish clothing.  I found out that I have a distinct aversion to business casual.  I guess that means that I’ll never have a job in the corporate world, and you know what, that’s okay. I’m a firm believer that everyone deserves to have a place that they feel comfortable in.  A place that allows them to be the best part of themselves and still conform to the desires of the company where they are employed.

It could be that my background in fashion and beauty won’t allow me to paint a picture that isn’t conducive to my sense of style.  That sounds pretty technical, and I try my best to not to go down that road.  How bout this:  I don’t do frump very well.  I can’t go against the cardinal fashion rules:  No pantyhose with open toe shoes.  Period.  In fact, no pantyhose at all.  Tights, yes.  Knee highs, if you must.  Just say NO to hose!  Your below-the-knee skirt makes your calves look fat.  Above- the-knee is unacceptable.  Cover that cleavage up with an ugly scarf that makes your neck sweat.  Jacket those flabby arms.  Dangly earrings are a no-no.  Leggings with a long sweater or tunic:  no, no NO!

Maybe I’ve become complacent at my current job or it could just be that I’ve become comfortable in my own skin, but I just don’t want to comply to somebody’s idea of what is “presentable”.  Does that make me a fashion rebel?  Maybe.  In fact, I kinda like that term.  It just could be that my days at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh during the punk era has made a permanent impact on me.  Perusing the streets of Pittsburgh with kool aid dyed pink hair might have done some damage.  I can’t be sure, really.  But I’m pretty sure it did.

I have complete understanding of what’s acceptable in any given situation.  If I choose to wear a low-cut dress to show off my assets, because they are few and far between at this age, I’m gonna do it in the RIGHT environment.  A mini ANYTHING isn’t appropriate for me anymore, and I’m not entirely sad about that.  If you follow my blog, you know about my obsession with shoes.  After 5 surgeries I still try to wear heels, just not as often.  Open toe, 4 inch heel, no panty hose biatches.  Ya, that’s how I roll.  Literally, I will probably roll on the ground because I have some trouble pulling that look off nowadays.  But hey, I still try!

So while I’m not gonna be making a boat load more money, I’ll be able to style up my look, listen to my tunes and make people laugh.  Is there anything more important than that?  Probably, but not right now, and not to me.

So please enjoy Madonna for a few minutes, throw on some heels and dance around the room like nobody’s watching.  Because somebody probably IS watching, even if it’s the dog, and they’re laughing.  And now I made someone laugh.

My job here is done.


Somebody that I used to know

I’m following up on my last post, “Time to Say Goodbye”.

I’ve had a lot of conflicting feelings about moving on from my current position. For obvious reasons, moving on is hard, and it’s not like I was looking for a new job at the time I was confronted with the opportunity. I was apprehensive about even interviewing, and was surprised that the interview had gone as well as it did. Interviewing with the Senior Vice President is terrifying enough for anyone, but I also had another supervisor in the room with me, who was shooting out questions as well. I feel like, and the SVP confided as well, that the interview went well and I was offered a second interview.

Second interviews are always a good thing, but when you start out at the “top” so to speak, how can an individual with a for lack of a better word, “lesser stake in the hiring process” deny the offer? Maybe I’m being stupid about it, but what I’m really trying to say is, I most likely have the job.  I’m not trying to put down the second interviewer.  I’m really not.  That person most certainly can hate me or hate what I look like or dislike answers to her questions and it would all be over.  But I think I”m confident enough in myself to say that they will most likely like me.

I think.

Which brings me to my current issue. Do I take the job if it were offered to me? I’ve spoken with my supervisor at my current job about the possibility of leaving and was given an option to wait and see if full time might be an option.  There are definite hoops to jump through, but it would seem a possibility.  The new job would most definitely pay more.  But it would involve more time and energy and a completely different way of being.  Meaning a different “dress” and different personality and might involve a somewhat diminished comical attitude.  I like to make people laugh, to lighten the load so to speak.  Life is hard, and inserting a few jokes and lifting a mood or two here and there are important to me.  I don’t like to see suffering, and the new job would surround me with suffering.  Could I find a way to be myself yet some one else?

Would I become somebody that I used to know?

Lots to think about.  I’m lost.

I”ll update in a few days…


Time to Say Goodbye

I have a job interview today.  The job is selling cemetery plots.  I would basically double my income.  I’m apprehensive.

Why you ask?  It’s a no brainer!  More money? Hell yes.

No, not quite.  My interview is not until later this afternoon, and the thoughts racing through my head are all over the board.  I was actually okay until I spoke with my friend Paulette last night.  I really was.  But she inserted a few questions into my head that I hadn’t really thought of.  Do I really WANT to sell cemetery plots?  Is that what I want to spend my life doing?  Will I find satisfaction in helping a grieving family locate a final burial place for their loved one? Sure, I’m a very caring person.  I know that to be one of my truths.  The job I will hold will be surrounded by constant sadness and tears.  I already cry watching the freaking news, will I be able to hold it together when it comes to sorrow and bereavement?

I just don’t know.

Another thought:  Do I want to add 20-30 minutes additional commute time to and from work? Sure, I like driving, but will it be okay in the winter, where in Pittsburgh the prediction is snowmageddon   2015?  I’m due for another car, even though I love my Toyota 4-runner, it’s not gonna last forever.  Making more money would allow me to get the car I want, not the car my husband wants me to drive.

This job kinda hit me broadside and I wasn’t prepared yet to move on.  I wasn’t actively looking for a new and exciting environment.  I’m not completely happy where I am now, but is anyone ever head over heels in love with their job?  I haven’t met anyone who falls into that euphoric category.  I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, it just doesn’t in my small circle of friends and acquaintances.

So today I struggle with making a change.  I’ve already been offered the job in my head.  I might be overly confident, but hey, I’m the total package right?  I’ve got brains and guts and a empathetic personality that genuinely loves and cares for most people.  Wow, that sounds like the closing sentence to my “tell me about yourself” answer, doesn’t it?

So is it time to say goodbye?  For many people today, they will bid their final farewell to someone who held a place in their heart.

I may be doing the same.  I’ll keep you posted!

Why You Need To Stop Trying To Change People

Hits home BIG TIME

James Michael Sama

For those of you who don’t know the story of the scorpion and the frog – allow me to enlighten you. A scorpion needed to cross a river, so he approached a frog to ask for help. The frog denied him, saying “Why should I trust you? You could easily sting me.”


The scorpion assured the frog he would be safe because if he were to sting the frog during their trip, they would both drown. The frog, figuring this made sense, agreed to transport the scorpion. Half way across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they began to sink.

When the frog asked why, the scorpion replied, “Because it’s in my nature…”

This raises the question – can people really change, even if they want to? I believe there are certain aspects of a person’s nature that are instilled in them, but I also believe that you…

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