Monthly Archives: November 2014

What You Don’t Say Matters More Than What You Do

I’ve got a lot of thoughts running around my head recently.  I haven’t written in a while because I don’t have a complete thought about anything.  This post will be a random view on a few different subjects that are currently floating in my own personal universe.

I’ve written about this previously, but I think that it holds true on a daily basis for me.  Assumption.  And we all know the old adage, when you ASSUME it makes an ASS out of U and ME.  Lord knows I’m guilty of making assumptions.  I’ve determined that my spouse’s actions are intentional.  All actions, good AND bad.  I believe he makes a conscious effort to search out an item in the grocery store that he knows I’ve requested specifically or is aware that I’d like to have.  Somewhere in that brain of his, he has made an assumption that for me to be happy on said day, if I have the new Kettle Chips that I saw advertised on TV the night before and thought out loud that they might be good to try, I’ll jump for joy and love him forever when he buys them for me.  And although those chips might temporarily make me happy, I’d much rather have him remove his boots from the middle of the living room floor and set them somewhere out-of-the-way (basement) where I won’t trip over them.  I feel like he might do better with a suggestion from me rather than a heated request.  And that might be true for most people, I’m not 100% sure.  I know I’ve waited for many projects to be finished in my home, and my requests have never come from a place of suggestion.  I should take note of my previous statements and start making suggestions to my husband.  I’m gonna work on that.

I recently saw a friend that I hadn’t had contact with in a while.  I broke contact on purpose.  I’m the type of person that when I feel like I’ve been emotionally harmed in an inexcusable way, I distance myself.  I don’t like direct confrontation.  I like to stew over the whole ordeal, because I’m the type to re-live the event and try to put myself in somebody else’s shoes and give them the benefit of the doubt as to why they were an asshole to me.  If I can’t come up with a legitimate reason, I stay away.  I’ve done it before, I’m sure I’ll do it again if it happens.  We talked about what made me move away from our friendship, but I don’t think she really understood.  Of course, she assumed it was for a different reason, because that’s what we do, ASSUME.  We try to find something that we’ve done that could kind of be misconstrued as ill meaning.  We go through our memory and determine that there might be one particular thing that could have been taken the wrong way by a sensitive person (because we blame them for being too sensitive in our minds) and pissed the other person off.  We go through our lives making assumptions and many times never really get the real story.   I guess in a way assumptions make you feel a little better about being who you are.  It’s a kind of validation.  I believe there are 3 stages to making an assumption:  1.  Sadness and misunderstanding.  2.  Determining in our mind why the other person is mad.  3. Validating our actions in our own minds and moving on, feeling like it’s them and not us.

And finally for this random thought post finale, Thanksgiving and the retail world.  I’ve been a vocal proponent (at least in my household) of no Sunday sports/games for families.  I do not believe that my son, or anyone’s son or daughter should have any kind of sports game on a Sunday.  When they go off to college, they can Sunday sports it up all they want, they’re adults now.  Play, practice, whatever they want to do.  I want my child to have a relaxing day on Sunday, doing whatever he or she wants to do, not what another parent/coach has requested that he did with his time. Period.

When I first heard about certain stores being open starting at 6pm on Thanksgiving day (now they’re all jumping on the band wagon), I initially thought about how horrible that it would be if I had to hurry up my dinner and get to work just in time to be bombarded by blood thirsty, Christmas gift carnivores with ravenous appetites for ridiculous deals on electronics and juicers.  It’s the Christmas Zombie Apocalypse and it’s happening in 2014.

I’m not an overly religious person, but I know that one of the 7 deadly sins is GREED.  This Thanksgiving, you will get to be a voyeur of sorts to one of the contributors to the downfall of civilization.  The news crews will be out in full force, streaming live from the front of Best Buy stores with all their lines of tents and frozen occupants.  There have been others contributing downfalls for sure, but this one strikes a particular chord with me because we’ve lost the one last holiday that held together the meaning of family.  We weren’t out buying candy to serve up to trick or treaters on Halloween.  We aren’t out killing ourselves searching for a close parking space on a cold winter’s night trying to buy a gift for someone who doesn’t need it or won’t appreciate it for Christmas.  We aren’t packing a basket with jelly beans and assorted egg-shaped candy for Easter.  We are supposed to be spending the day watching random football games and made for TV movies, the house filled with the distinct aroma of a succulent turkey, scrumptious stuffing and sweet pumpkin pie.  The table is set and we can hardly wait to begin the culinary festivities.  A glass of wine, our family surrounding us and pleasure abounds.  I’m sure it’s different in each home, but the one common denominator is family.  I can’t imagine some corporation telling me that I can’t have that because they need their “numbers” to increase.  It’s do or die Thanksgiving Thursday.  Greed. If you count on Black Friday deals to make or break you, you’ve gotta bigger problems that need to be addressed.   Don’t put all your eggs in one literal financial basket.  Offer deals throughout the year and you won’t have to worry about the size of your next yacht purchase at the end of your fiscal year.  Don’t put retail workers at risk of being trampled to death just so some greedy bastard pushing through the front door security guard can get a flat screen TV for $99.  Wouldn’t you all rather be sitting at home pouring more gravy on your mashed potatoes?  Could you find another day to celebrate your inability to realize that home is where the heart is?  I sure hope somebody comes to this realization sooner rather than later.  If happy wives make happy lives, what does a happy employee make?  I can’t imagine someone actually being happy about working in retail on Thanksgiving evening.

But again, I’m assuming.