Monthly Archives: February 2014

God Gave Me You

dog

I require physical contact.  I think everyone does.  Well, almost everyone.  There are a few different ways you can get your “fill” of physical closeness.  Some good, a couple not so good, but I guess you get it where and how you can.  Mine comes from my permanent snugglers,  Jaxon (on the left) and Harles.

Jax came first, when he was a puppy.  My son, Shawn brought him home.  I wasn’t ready for another dog and was still grieving the loss of our dog, Max.  Truth is sometimes you gotta have something pushed into your face to realize that you ARE ready and you do NEED to move on.  He was the cutest puppy imaginable, a husky/lab mix, he has one blue eye.  That adorable blue eye that I seem drawn to when I look at him.  Sometimes I find myself feeling bad for not giving that brown eye equal time.  Yes, I think of things like that.  Jaxon is one of the happiest dogs you’ll meet.  He loves to run outside and say hello to neighborhood dogs walking past our fenced in yard.  He’s happy to meet any dog, or animal for that matter.  He’s mostly quiet, barking only if he feels threatened.  He’s mild mannered with complete and total love for his master, ME!

Which leads me to Harles.  Formerly adopted from a humane shelter, again by my son, Shawn.  He wasn’t able to take him when he moved to a dog “not friendly” rented home.   Harles initially would come to visit Jax, and that was just fine.  Kinda like other people’s kids.  It’s nice to have them over, play with them, and then send them home with their parents.  When he became a permanent fixture, jealousy set in.  Big time.  Jax was the “only child” type of dog.  Docile and used to getting all the attention.  Harles, a pit/lab mix,  is what you might call an alpha dog.  Requires all the attention, all the food, all the family.  All.  Of.  Everything.

The two have now been co-habitating for about 2 years.  Let’s just say that they have “grown” into appreciating their relationship.  I’ve found them sleeping together in my youngest son, Grae’s bed during the day.  They have the whole house, but they choose to sleep together.

If I’m petting Harles, Jax will give me a look similar to this…..

jax

He’ll also go over to the door and scratch to get out.  He has no intention of going outside, but as soon as I ask if someone wants to go outside, Harles leaps up and runs to the door, pushing poor timid Jax out of the way….cause he has to be first.    I throw open the door, and Harles barrels out, leaping off of the deck into the yard.  Yep, just Harles.  Jax watches, snickering at how stupid Harles is and how smart HE is.  He had no intention of going out, he just wanted Harles the hell off of me.  Jax will come over and lay up against me on the couch.  Success!

At night, when I’m getting ready for bed, Harles will already be in bed with his other master.  I have to ask him about 10 times to get down, so that I can get in.  Both dogs wait eagerly beside the bed until I get the blankets situated.  I say, “okay” and Harles jumps in first.  He knows his “place” on the bed.  He sleeps at the bottom of the bed by my feet.  Jax jumps up and fits in the little nook somewhere between my bent knees and chest.  If Master #2 isn’t in bed, Harles will take his place, but slammed up against my back.  I’m sandwiched between two canines.  If you were cold before you got into bed, you  definitely aren’t now.  And you can’t move, because they don’t.  All night.

I recently had foot surgery and since my bedroom is downstairs, I’ve got to climb the steps to get to the main part of the house.  Secretly my precious pets have worked out a deal.  Jaxon goes up first, waiting at the top of the steps to watch me.  Harles brings up the back, making sure I don’t lose my balance.  I guess they both decided that if I were to fall backward, I’d be much better off falling on the kind of “wide load” Harles is than the petite Jaxon.  I know that they’ve had this conversation because they do this EVERY TIME I VENTURE UPSTAIRS.  How sweet is that?

If I had to describe Harles as a human, he would be a beer drinking, poker playing good time friend with a huge heart.  Competitive by nature, always needing to win but never giving up if he doesn’t.  Jax would most likely be gay with an English accent.  He enjoys drinking his favorite tea while reading one of his favorite novels, most likely just reviewed at his book club meeting.

Don’t ask me why I think he’s gay.

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Shoe Porn

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Hello my name is Robin and I’m addicted to shoes.

I put myself in the same category as an alcoholic or drug addict.  There’s something very euphoric about new shoes.  And let’s be specific, we’re talkin heels here.  The higher the better.  That is until recently. 

The past two years I’ve had 5 surgeries on my left foot.  That means that in the past approximately 24 months I’ve either been in pain requiring surgery or been in pain due to surgery.  Each recovery period left me viewing shoe porn.   My choice of porn can be summed up like this:  I can’t get enough of shoes.  I love heels, colors, designs, leather, pleather, canvas, etc.  You make it, I want it.  Pumps, wedges, knee high boots, high heeled booties.  

I find myself viewing shoe porn more frequently now.  I guess because I’m in a kind of denial.  I’m 50, with multiple foot surgeries under my belt.  I can’t allow myself to look ridiculous in pumps of towering heights any longer.  Not because I don’t want to.  I truly do.  I just prefer to have the comments made behind my back be that of good taste, and not tacky misfortune.  “Who does she think she is wearing THOSE kinds of shoes” is not something I want to ever accidentally hear.  But that’s not only true with my shoes.  I would prefer that I convey a look of “cool yet appropriate” for my age.  This girls likes to keep up with the trend, yet mold it into something relevant for a woman of maturity.  Yet like any addict, I need my fix.  For the past several months I’ve been suffering with so much pain that I have resorted to flat shoes and boots.  Yep, those are dirty words to a woman so absorbed in sweet, beautiful platform stilts that the idea of being closer to earth via shoe ware is truly a fate worse than death.  And I mean that in the least possible egotistical way.  If that’s possible. 

I like being tall.  I like the way that high heeled shoes make my legs look.  I like the way I glide as I balance on those pleasingly provocative height levitators.  I feel more in control of my life.  I feel prettier.  I feel more like me.

Like any recovering junkie, I need to look at shoe life differently.  Soda is never gonna taste as good as a frothy, ice cold brewski in a frosty mug to an alcohol fanatic.  Flats are never going to produce the same euphoria as their much taller sister, the heel.  But like the soda, there will rarely be detrimental side effects indulging in our “more appropriate” vice. 

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll need to completely remove myself from indulging in an occasional heel, albeit a much shorter one.  It’s too soon to tell what the status of my foot will be.  I think if I have the option and availability, a casual stiletto appearance would not completely be out of the question. 

But I can’t guarantee I won’t “fall off the wagon”.

 


The Game of Love

love

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time

~Chinese Proverb~

Are you a participant in the “Game of Love”?

Every day  I find myself questioning love.  Love of myself, my spouse, my life.  I’m constantly reminded, via emails from a variety of life coaches, that I first must love myself, before I can truly love another.  I don’t find that to be true.  I think that early on in my marriage, I truly loved my spouse.  I believe with all my heart that I sincerely love my children, without any doubt in my mind.   So maybe I’m interpreting the statement incorrectly.  It may just mean that in order to love your “significant other”, you must first love yourself.  In believing that you love yourself, you would not question certain things they said or did.  “Why is he spending so much time away from me”?  “Why didn’t she take care of me when I had a cold”?  And then the ultimate question….”does he or she really love me”?

Do we turn the argument around on ourselves and ask “why aren’t we lovable enough”?  You might ask that question if you didn’t first “love yourself”.

Love is a silly game.  Your love game might be different from mine.  I’m not competitive, so I don’t believe I always have to win.  I don’t always have to be right.  Having said that, I would like to win sometimes.  Playing a game that you never win makes you really want to stop playing, doesn’t it?

Maybe your love game is one-sided.  You’ve got one player that constantly tries, while the other just sits back and doesn’t put much effort into actually “playing” the game.  Could one player actually love the other “more”?

Both of the love game players might be resentful.  One gets ahead, the other falls behind, constantly playing catch up while the whole “game” morphs into  jealousy.  “I’m jealous your life is better than mine”.  “Life is so much easier for you”.

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, lovers everywhere are contemplating their “love game”.  Some may be dreading the touted “hallmark holiday”, while others look at the day as being a way to “step up their game”.

When it comes to the game of love, how will yours play out?


Let’s play 20 questions

I always find these kinds of things intriguing, especially when I read another person’s answers.

So here goes….

1.         When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

I thought I’d better wash my hair, it was getting oily and yucky!

2.         What did you want to be when you grew up?

      A nurse or flight attendant.  A psychic put that in my head years ago….

3.          What’s a word you say a lot?

       Awesome!

4.          What is your current desktop picture?

The shark from Finding Nemo, but gory with blood dripping from his mouth.  I don’t know why but I love it.

5.           How old were you the first time you got drunk?

I think I was 18.  That was a very long time ago.

6.           If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

Probably Greek yogurt.  Is that a food? 

7.           What would you change about yourself?

That’s a hard one.  There are so many things that I’m working on changing now.  At times I think I’m too nice.  At times I drink too much.  At times I’m lazy.  I guess I’d like to be more independent.  Yep, that’s it!!!!

8.           If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I like living here in Pittsburgh. I can’t say that I’d like to live anywhere else, this is what/where I know. 

9.           What is the last film you saw?

Captain Phillips.  It was wonderful!

10.          What type of music do you like most?

I like Country, but really I’ll listening to almost anything.  With the exception of Jazz. 

11.           Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving.

     I’ve been sky diving and loved it.  Bungee jumping isn’t safe.  There’s no reserve to pull if the first one doesn’t work.

12.          If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?

I would be an actress, but a chubby one, so I wouldn’t have to diet all the time.

13.          Have you ever won a trophy?

Nope.  Not very good in sports activities.  Never played when I was a kid.  I tend to think trophys are over rated.

14.        Are you a good cook?

I think I am.  I try very hard.  I like to make things that please people. 

15.        Do you know how to pump your own gas?

  I do, but I try not to.  I think that it the very LEAST my family could do for me. 

16.         What do you think about the most?

My mistakes

17.          If you had a big win in the lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?

I couldn’t keep it a secret long at all.  I would probably blab it to the world right away.

18.           Do you sing in the shower?

No, but I sing in the car ALL THE TIME!

19.           What is your favorite time of the day?

Usually some time in the evening, when I’m alone and everyone is in bed.  Ahhhhh, peace and quiet.

20.           What is most important in life?

Love.