Tag Archives: love

This Woman’s Work


Growing up with very little self esteem was difficult.  I think low self worth keeps you from being who you want to be and really doing what you should be doing.  Wearing a “kick me” sign walking down the halls of high school didn’t help either.  It’s true.  The girl on the left side of the picture above was teased and bullied in school.  But this post is not about bullying.  It’s about my worth.  Mine and every woman’s worth.

Finding your worth might be a long, lonely road.  Realizing that you make a difference in somebody’s life, maybe many lives.  Recognizing that every day things that you do and take for granted make so many lives easier and happier.  Sometimes waking up every day is difficult, filled with so much pain.  Work by definition is the exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something.  We as women produce and accomplish every single day.   We provide love and a safe haven for our children.  We have consideration and empathy for our fellow human beings.  We care for our families, our significant others, even complete strangers.  We continue to make a difference, yet I think many don’t realize it.  A kind word or friendly smile can turn grey skies blue.

We as women have made a difference.  Our work is never done.  It’s our job, our adventure of sorts.  I don’t think we take it that seriously, but we should.  On this, the eve of Mother’s Day, lets reflect on all the times that a woman made our lives easier, more secure and made us feel more loved.

Happy Mother’s Day, to ALL WOMEN.

Please watch the video, This Woman’s Work by Hope Murphy.  This girl has a beautiful voice.  She gives me chills and was the inspiration for my post today.



God Gave Me You


I require physical contact.  I think everyone does.  Well, almost everyone.  There are a few different ways you can get your “fill” of physical closeness.  Some good, a couple not so good, but I guess you get it where and how you can.  Mine comes from my permanent snugglers,  Jaxon (on the left) and Harles.

Jax came first, when he was a puppy.  My son, Shawn brought him home.  I wasn’t ready for another dog and was still grieving the loss of our dog, Max.  Truth is sometimes you gotta have something pushed into your face to realize that you ARE ready and you do NEED to move on.  He was the cutest puppy imaginable, a husky/lab mix, he has one blue eye.  That adorable blue eye that I seem drawn to when I look at him.  Sometimes I find myself feeling bad for not giving that brown eye equal time.  Yes, I think of things like that.  Jaxon is one of the happiest dogs you’ll meet.  He loves to run outside and say hello to neighborhood dogs walking past our fenced in yard.  He’s happy to meet any dog, or animal for that matter.  He’s mostly quiet, barking only if he feels threatened.  He’s mild mannered with complete and total love for his master, ME!

Which leads me to Harles.  Formerly adopted from a humane shelter, again by my son, Shawn.  He wasn’t able to take him when he moved to a dog “not friendly” rented home.   Harles initially would come to visit Jax, and that was just fine.  Kinda like other people’s kids.  It’s nice to have them over, play with them, and then send them home with their parents.  When he became a permanent fixture, jealousy set in.  Big time.  Jax was the “only child” type of dog.  Docile and used to getting all the attention.  Harles, a pit/lab mix,  is what you might call an alpha dog.  Requires all the attention, all the food, all the family.  All.  Of.  Everything.

The two have now been co-habitating for about 2 years.  Let’s just say that they have “grown” into appreciating their relationship.  I’ve found them sleeping together in my youngest son, Grae’s bed during the day.  They have the whole house, but they choose to sleep together.

If I’m petting Harles, Jax will give me a look similar to this…..


He’ll also go over to the door and scratch to get out.  He has no intention of going outside, but as soon as I ask if someone wants to go outside, Harles leaps up and runs to the door, pushing poor timid Jax out of the way….cause he has to be first.    I throw open the door, and Harles barrels out, leaping off of the deck into the yard.  Yep, just Harles.  Jax watches, snickering at how stupid Harles is and how smart HE is.  He had no intention of going out, he just wanted Harles the hell off of me.  Jax will come over and lay up against me on the couch.  Success!

At night, when I’m getting ready for bed, Harles will already be in bed with his other master.  I have to ask him about 10 times to get down, so that I can get in.  Both dogs wait eagerly beside the bed until I get the blankets situated.  I say, “okay” and Harles jumps in first.  He knows his “place” on the bed.  He sleeps at the bottom of the bed by my feet.  Jax jumps up and fits in the little nook somewhere between my bent knees and chest.  If Master #2 isn’t in bed, Harles will take his place, but slammed up against my back.  I’m sandwiched between two canines.  If you were cold before you got into bed, you  definitely aren’t now.  And you can’t move, because they don’t.  All night.

I recently had foot surgery and since my bedroom is downstairs, I’ve got to climb the steps to get to the main part of the house.  Secretly my precious pets have worked out a deal.  Jaxon goes up first, waiting at the top of the steps to watch me.  Harles brings up the back, making sure I don’t lose my balance.  I guess they both decided that if I were to fall backward, I’d be much better off falling on the kind of “wide load” Harles is than the petite Jaxon.  I know that they’ve had this conversation because they do this EVERY TIME I VENTURE UPSTAIRS.  How sweet is that?

If I had to describe Harles as a human, he would be a beer drinking, poker playing good time friend with a huge heart.  Competitive by nature, always needing to win but never giving up if he doesn’t.  Jax would most likely be gay with an English accent.  He enjoys drinking his favorite tea while reading one of his favorite novels, most likely just reviewed at his book club meeting.

Don’t ask me why I think he’s gay.

The Game of Love


If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time

~Chinese Proverb~

Are you a participant in the “Game of Love”?

Every day  I find myself questioning love.  Love of myself, my spouse, my life.  I’m constantly reminded, via emails from a variety of life coaches, that I first must love myself, before I can truly love another.  I don’t find that to be true.  I think that early on in my marriage, I truly loved my spouse.  I believe with all my heart that I sincerely love my children, without any doubt in my mind.   So maybe I’m interpreting the statement incorrectly.  It may just mean that in order to love your “significant other”, you must first love yourself.  In believing that you love yourself, you would not question certain things they said or did.  “Why is he spending so much time away from me”?  “Why didn’t she take care of me when I had a cold”?  And then the ultimate question….”does he or she really love me”?

Do we turn the argument around on ourselves and ask “why aren’t we lovable enough”?  You might ask that question if you didn’t first “love yourself”.

Love is a silly game.  Your love game might be different from mine.  I’m not competitive, so I don’t believe I always have to win.  I don’t always have to be right.  Having said that, I would like to win sometimes.  Playing a game that you never win makes you really want to stop playing, doesn’t it?

Maybe your love game is one-sided.  You’ve got one player that constantly tries, while the other just sits back and doesn’t put much effort into actually “playing” the game.  Could one player actually love the other “more”?

Both of the love game players might be resentful.  One gets ahead, the other falls behind, constantly playing catch up while the whole “game” morphs into  jealousy.  “I’m jealous your life is better than mine”.  “Life is so much easier for you”.

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, lovers everywhere are contemplating their “love game”.  Some may be dreading the touted “hallmark holiday”, while others look at the day as being a way to “step up their game”.

When it comes to the game of love, how will yours play out?