Tag Archives: family

You May Say I’m a Dreamer, But I’m Not the Only One.

Here we are again, celebrating a New Year.  Those of us that are lucky enough to say goodbye to 2014 and welcome in 2015 with open arms might be contemplating our life, just as I am right now.

I recently read a blog called “Breaking the chains-A story of self transformation, which you can read here:http://www.thechangeblog.com/self-transformation/

Kelsey Frizzell writes about always having the desire to dream of a more exciting life.  I can remember when I was young, thinking that I could act just as well as the actresses I watched on TV.  I could sing just as good and some of the biggest pop stars.  I remember thinking Barbara Streisand wasn’t all that.  I could hit those high notes just as she did so effortlessly.  I was completely wrong, and I know that now, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming.

High School brought the dream of being with the perfectly adorable boy who just happened to be nice to me that day.  I wasn’t the popular girl in school, in fact far from it.  When a boy caught my eye, I would go off into never never land and dream of getting married, having his children and living a life happily ever after.

The Art Institute was an entirely different dream.  I would become this fabulous fashionista, traveling to New York City, even possibly living there.  I would rub elbows with the elite designers and wear expensive clothes made specially for me.  I would have a prestigious career and be the envy of all my friends.

I married the love of my life and I dreamed of owning the perfect house, in the most prestigious neighborhood, with the brightest children, living the good life.   I would never struggle, never lose, and always have the best of everything.

Aside from one or two of my dreams coming true (my children make me so proud), I haven’t seen many of my dreams come true, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming.  Now I have changed my dreams a lot over the years, depending on my situation and desires at the time.  But one thing holds true:  I NEVER STOPPED DREAMING.

Dreams are what makes your life exciting.  We dream to step out  of our reality and into the possibility that there might be something bigger in store for us.  The future is always brighter and fantasy might even become reality.

I like to include music to go along with the idea of my post, so please turn this one up and enjoy, while you dream…


My Loves

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I rarely get the option to have a day to myself with little responsibility, but that’s exactly what I had this past Saturday.  I’ve been mom to a 12 year old for what feels like 30 years.  I don’t really remember life without him in it, but occasionally I get a  day where I don’t have to worry about breakfast, lunch and dinner for Grae, who is the most HORRIBLE, picky eater.  I’m not running him to a friends house or picking him up.  I’m free.

I planned a lunch date with my son, Shawn who no longer lives with us, and asked my daughter Alysa to come along.  We were meeting half way between mine and Shawn’s home.  The restaurant, The Back Porch, is a charming old home renovated back in 1972.  There are 3 floors counting the basement, which holds a small bar with some tables.  Beware if you’re over 6 foot tall, the ceilings are really really low.  Visiting this particular restaurant is off limits with my husband and a 12 year old.  For some reason, they don’t have the ability to really FEEL the ambiance of a room.  They don’t appreciate the presentation on the plate or the white table cloths.  But I do.  And so do my two oldest kids.  Yes, they will always be my “kids”. 

I’ve always felt like I taught my kids to feel comfortable in a slightly more upscale environment.  Giving them wings to fly includes this very sentiment.  They’ve each had opportunities to put their knowledge to work, so my work here is done,  so to speak. 

We had great conversation, and laughed and laughed, especially about some of Grae’s little comings and goings.  He’s always gonna be there, mentally if not physically. 

Later we shopped at some quaint little stores across the street.  Then it was off to the land of Walmart and Aldis.  More laughter ensued and before we knew it, the date was coming to a close, sadly. 

Being a mom is sometimes a lonely job.  Saying goodbye to your son that no longer lives with you makes you feel sad, but it also helps you to enjoy the time you do spend with him.  I still got to drive home with Alysa, but at 23 with a career, she’s doing her own thing with her own life.  Having a lunch date like we used to do, just me and her when it was her birthday, reminds me of how fast time flies.

Just to be part of these two awesome individuals lives is definitely one of my most favorite things. 

My Loves.

 


They’re talking but we are we listening?

Ya know,  if you sit and think about it a little bit, our lives are filled with a lot of noise.  It starts early in the morning.  We wake up to our alarm,  reminding us to get up and seize the day.  I wake up with music, the song “Happy” by Pharrell.  By the way,  if you need a good song to wake up to,  try that one.  I honestly have a much better morning if I awake with a good tune that I can dance to.  In fact,  I’m listening right now,  just to give me inspiration for this blog.

Digression is real.  Apologies.

Back to noise.  The sizzling of scrambled eggs cooking in the pan.  Coffee perking.  The morning news on the T.V.  Shower running.  My dryer even plays a whole song when it finishes a load of clothes.  A. Whole. Song.  Humming of the car on the drive to work.  Music obviously playing.  And if I can’t find a song to sing to, I jump from station to station, because I simply MUST sing along.  Walking along the paved sidewalk with heels clicking on the way to my building.  You get the picture.

Have you ever thought of all the noise we don’t hear?  I’m speaking specifically about  perceived noise.  Noise that amplifies like a megaphone from another human being,  yet we “hear” nothing.  A loved one,  a friend,  a complete stranger.  They’re speaking to us,  telling us who they are, what they want and how we should give it to them,  yet there is no voice.

For instance you’re driving down the road,  minding your own business, and if you’re me you’re also singing, when you happen to glance into the rear view mirror.  Oh, where the heck did they come from?  Another person kinda riding your butt,  obviously not happy about being late or just a speedy kind of person,  we don’t know for sure.  Their aggravated driving tells us that they are in a damn hurry.   We know that.  But in the comfort of their own car,  are they blaring out their quick-to-anger personality to us and everyone in their path?

Maybe.

I just had a staff member request something from me last minute,  and she forgot to put in a request for it.  I was able to help her out, but when she came to pick up said item,  she said “I should have brought you a coffee (for helping her out of a jam)”.  What is she saying to me?  If she were a nice person,  she  should have repaid my favor saving her ass and show her appreciation by purchasing a cup of morning java?  Does not actually doing that but telling me she should have  make her a not-so-nice person?

Again, maybe.

And then there are the actions of loved ones.  Now we grew up with them, they grew up with us,  we all grew up at one point with family.  I’m gonna come right out and say this.  We all  aren’t created the same.  They very well may have had the same parents,  they may be the same sex, or maybe not.  But they are different.  They think differently.  One member could be considerate while the other is self centered.  And for the most part we can’t understand why.  How could Susie not want to go to college?  Why doesn’t Jimmy take better care of his house?  We don’t get it.  But they are talking.  Not with words, more with silent actions.  They tell us that THAT is who THEY are.  They aren’t like you.  They’re different.  Treat them accordingly.  You don’t hear from Betsy and you wonder why?  Truth is Betsy likes being a loner.  Don’t beat her into submission.  She LIKES who she is.  Maybe you need to constantly bail out Ben.  He’s a slacker.  He tells you that all the time with his actions.  You just aren’t listening.  We sit and ponder about why people do what they do.  Why aren’t they more like me?  I mean we lived in the same house,  for God’s sake.  We need to quit trying to change them and try to change ourselves.  Does little Mikey refuse to pick up his clothes?  Leave them.  When you choose to make another person conform to YOUR ideals,  you’re fighting city hall.  I’m not saying it will be easy,  after all they should WANT to do things to make you happy, right?

Wrong.

We hear the coffee perking,  we hear the phone ringing, but we refuse to hear the signals that others are sending.   There are exceptions, certainly.  We need to give our kids good morals.  Wings so that they can eventually fly I like to say.  But when adulthood sets in,  we need to do just that….let them fly.  Quit the judgement and expectation of conformity.   Treat others as they treat you.  After all, they’re telling us how to treat them.

But are you listening?