Ya know, if you sit and think about it a little bit, our lives are filled with a lot of noise. It starts early in the morning. We wake up to our alarm, reminding us to get up and seize the day. I wake up with music, the song “Happy” by Pharrell. By the way, if you need a good song to wake up to, try that one. I honestly have a much better morning if I awake with a good tune that I can dance to. In fact, I’m listening right now, just to give me inspiration for this blog.
Digression is real. Apologies.
Back to noise. The sizzling of scrambled eggs cooking in the pan. Coffee perking. The morning news on the T.V. Shower running. My dryer even plays a whole song when it finishes a load of clothes. A. Whole. Song. Humming of the car on the drive to work. Music obviously playing. And if I can’t find a song to sing to, I jump from station to station, because I simply MUST sing along. Walking along the paved sidewalk with heels clicking on the way to my building. You get the picture.
Have you ever thought of all the noise we don’t hear? I’m speaking specifically about perceived noise. Noise that amplifies like a megaphone from another human being, yet we “hear” nothing. A loved one, a friend, a complete stranger. They’re speaking to us, telling us who they are, what they want and how we should give it to them, yet there is no voice.
For instance you’re driving down the road, minding your own business, and if you’re me you’re also singing, when you happen to glance into the rear view mirror. Oh, where the heck did they come from? Another person kinda riding your butt, obviously not happy about being late or just a speedy kind of person, we don’t know for sure. Their aggravated driving tells us that they are in a damn hurry. We know that. But in the comfort of their own car, are they blaring out their quick-to-anger personality to us and everyone in their path?
I just had a staff member request something from me last minute, and she forgot to put in a request for it. I was able to help her out, but when she came to pick up said item, she said “I should have brought you a coffee (for helping her out of a jam)”. What is she saying to me? If she were a nice person, she should have repaid my favor saving her ass and show her appreciation by purchasing a cup of morning java? Does not actually doing that but telling me she should have make her a not-so-nice person?
And then there are the actions of loved ones. Now we grew up with them, they grew up with us, we all grew up at one point with family. I’m gonna come right out and say this. We all aren’t created the same. They very well may have had the same parents, they may be the same sex, or maybe not. But they are different. They think differently. One member could be considerate while the other is self centered. And for the most part we can’t understand why. How could Susie not want to go to college? Why doesn’t Jimmy take better care of his house? We don’t get it. But they are talking. Not with words, more with silent actions. They tell us that THAT is who THEY are. They aren’t like you. They’re different. Treat them accordingly. You don’t hear from Betsy and you wonder why? Truth is Betsy likes being a loner. Don’t beat her into submission. She LIKES who she is. Maybe you need to constantly bail out Ben. He’s a slacker. He tells you that all the time with his actions. You just aren’t listening. We sit and ponder about why people do what they do. Why aren’t they more like me? I mean we lived in the same house, for God’s sake. We need to quit trying to change them and try to change ourselves. Does little Mikey refuse to pick up his clothes? Leave them. When you choose to make another person conform to YOUR ideals, you’re fighting city hall. I’m not saying it will be easy, after all they should WANT to do things to make you happy, right?
We hear the coffee perking, we hear the phone ringing, but we refuse to hear the signals that others are sending. There are exceptions, certainly. We need to give our kids good morals. Wings so that they can eventually fly I like to say. But when adulthood sets in, we need to do just that….let them fly. Quit the judgement and expectation of conformity. Treat others as they treat you. After all, they’re telling us how to treat them.
But are you listening?