I was recently told by someone close to me that I never have a nice thing to say. Needless to say I was a bit taken a back by this accusation, but then I started thinking about it. I began to think about all of the statements I had made that day. And you know what, he was absolutely right! I’m stuck in the “complainer” rut. I’ve really never had many pleasing things to say to a certain “someone”.
So after shedding about a million tears over the realization that I’m truly not in a good place and a legitimately bad person, I decided to make a change. I’m not gonna complain. I will, instead take the shit storm that’s handed to me and look for the good, as I do when any sort of catastrophic event happens in the world. After all, this is MY world, my life. Time to take control of it.
1. When there is an excavator/operator digging up stumps in my back yard, instead of going nuts over the mud drug in and smeared all over the floor by my dogs, I will relish in the fact that I’m lucky enough to have 2 pets who would by all accounts, jump in front of a bullet for me. They would protect me at all costs. How many people can say that?
2. When my living room couch is getting soiled by a certain someone not showering and sleeping in their dirty, dusty clothes on probably a piece of furniture that won’t be replaced for a very long time, I will realize that without that scumbag, I would have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to get by.
I just giggled a little….
3. Even though I was promised that I could replace “my” 9-year-old car this summer, unbeknownst to me, plans have changed and I will need to drive the sucker til it dies. I will look on the bright side of things and be happy with the fact that I don’t have to walk to work, that my car’s air conditioner still is operating fine, and I actually still feel safe driving it. And a “sticking gas pedal” could be realistically considered with the age of the vehicle. Hope no definitive subjects are around if that happens. Heehee
4. When I watch a specific “someone” complete jobs that I myself have actually asked to be completed at my own home, I will realize that patience is a virtue and karma is a mother fucking BITCH.
Okay now I’m laughing out loud.
5. When I get annoyed to the point of using a visual massacre of sorts on one specific unambiguous individual, I will bite my tongue, smile nicely at the pathetic prick and realize that I’m so lucky to have the natural ability to be so much smarter than he’ll ever be, without even trying.
Man, I can already feel my bitchy personality lifting…
6. Each and every time I am reminded that I am a bad Mother/parent, I will just look at my 3 beautiful, wonderful, highly intelligent and perfectly mannered children and realize that he didn’t have an ounce of participation in that, aside from the obvious sperm related assistance. I’ll smile inside my heart, knowing that my children would do anything and have done EVERYTHING for me, and just knowing that makes me 100 times better than he’ll ever know.
7. When I’m being judged on my appearance, whether it be my wet hair, lack of red lipstick or fat ass, I’ll stare intently into his eyes and know that with his circa 1980’s hair and clothing choices, I WAKE UP looking better than that self serving, egotistical heap of maggot infested shit.
Holy cow, I guess all you need is a little nudge in the right direction. Thanks G. I can finally see the light.
8. When I feel neglected and persecuted by the outside world and try to plead my case and request sympathy, which has always and will continue to be persecuted and demeaned by the “constant” in life, I will instead stop myself from having the needy, criticizing wounded puppy attitude and be happy that I have had the advantage of dealing with one of the biggest offenders of ass-hole-iness and recognize when I need to step back and take a breath. They are literally EVERYWHERE. Asshats unite. The king is alive and well, operating in my own home.
Whew, I feel better already. Geez, this whole “nicer attitude” thing is really cool.
Please enjoy one of my favorite songs in the whole wide world, Night Swimming by R.E.M. It’s a feel good song with a whimsical tune that will turn that frown upside down. I’ve also included the inspiration song for my blog post today.
Cheers Bitches. Whoops…
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