I’ve been reading the book “Irritating the Ones You Love”, by Jeff Auerbach. My therapist suggested it, and for anyone looking for the reasons why certain things seem to set you off when others just shrug it off, this is a good book for you. The premise of this book suggests that each of us has “jars” that open when something is said or done that affected us a young age. This blog is not about the book as much as it about one of my jars.
The fairness jar.
I’ve discovered that I’m sent into a tail spin when I feel that a certain situation is not fair. Having this jar has me in a constant struggle with others for no good reason. After all, they most likely don’t have that jar. I’m finding that the lid to that jar is open on a regular basis. For instance, I get really upset when sitting in traffic because a road merges due to some kind of construction and another car buzzes along side me and others to get to the front of the line instead of waiting their turn like the rest of us. It sends me. Why can’t they just wait in line? Where’s the fire?
Being passed over for a position at work. Being fully qualified for that position, it goes outside of the workplace and I feel dejected. I’m guessing that would bother anybody, but for me I dwell for days. Months. I can’t let it go.
Just recently I purchased food for a going away party for some co-workers leaving for new adventures. I’m speaking specifically about buffalo chicken dip, which I absolutely love. It comes in two containers, and the first container is devoured by the time I leave work. There are still a few hours left for the rest of my co-workers, but I realize no one but myself and another person are eating the dip. Fast forward to the next day, late morning. Getting kinda hungry and open the fridge in search of a treat. The other container is gone. What? Nobody but me and one other person was eating it. That person is not on the premises at the present. This person took my dip after I left and ate it. The dip that I PURCHASED. No money was offered for my purchases which came to about $43.00. I don’t have a problem with that IF nobody takes advantage of something that they didn’t pay for or even offer to pay for. I’m hoping I don’t get fired today, because I really wanna go ballistic on this person, and I’m having trouble channeling my anger into anything other than a full on rant via steelgraeglamour.
It’s not fair.
I struggle with the fact that I give my husband anything that he asks for, yet he withholds affection from me. It makes me sad but more than that, IT’S NOT FAIR!
I’m gonna try to get a grip on this damn fairness jar, after all if nothing else it would benefit my stress level to get a grip and calm the fuck down and understand that my issues may be bigger than they should be. After all they are MY issues. I’ll calmly ask the buffalo chicken dip eating fucking asshole if he decided to save me a taste, a smidgen of hot spicy goodness. When he replies that he consumed every last fucking drop, I’ll take a deep breath and walk outside. Look at the scenery and realize that life is good and that this little chicken chunk bump in the spicy buffalo chicken dip road is over and tomorrow is another day.
But it’s not fair.
March 31st, 2018 at 3:59 PM
1st, my cousins husband is the author.
2nd, there is profound truth to theory of jars.
3rd, do you think when you’re unfair to others? Treat others unequally? Be a hypocrite? Because there must be times when you’re unfair.
4th, how did this dip and work situation work out?